As I sit here and think about all of the things that have happened throughout my life I find myself with my jaw dropped to the ground. I wonder why it is that I am so happy? Why everything has worked out the way it has? Why my life has been changed in ways I would have never been able to myself? The only explanation I have is that God had mercy on me and gave me grace. The God of the universe, of everything you and I could ever imagine, has mercy on you too. Listening to Talmidim (The Servants) by For Today really just opens my heart and my eyes to what it is that the Lord has given to us.
This passage of the song really touches me every time I hear vocalist Mattie Montegomery speak it
"And through all of this, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, no fear, no insecurity, no doubt, no hesitation that will ever, ever stop us. Because we are the son of the living God. Because we are the children of the almighty. Because we are the residence of the kingdom of heaven and we are soldiers in an army of the immortal. And when we speak light, light happens. And when we speak healing, healing happens. And when we speak truth, truth happens. And when we go take what we found to a dead world, we will see it come to life again. When we take what we found to a hopeless world, we will see hope come back, we will see the hearts of our world start beating again and we will see the colour come back in peoples faces and absolutely nothing will ever stop that and mountains will move before us and oceans will pour before us and the dead will raise before us and the world will know that our God is a God that heals, that our God is a God that lives, that are God is a God that loves unlike anyone has ever felt before because we are fearless, because we are his hand, because we are his feet, forever and ever."
Every morning, before I go to work, I listen to this song and I pray almost the same things that this passage says. I am in utmost awe at what God has done for me. Looking at my childhood and how much pain I have suffered from then to where I am now is something I can't even begin to describe. I have had my dreams shattered, my family shattered, my own life shattered, been depressed, on the verge of suicide, drug usage, but the one thing that has always been in the back of my mind is God. His love for me and everything he has stuck with me through has never been so evident to me. Just sitting with everyone tonight and hanging out eating and celebrating Thansgiving really showed me what true love is. No, not that bullshit boyfriend/girlfriend true love, but the true love of Jesus Christ through His body. The wonderful people he has placed in my life have shown me so much and made me grow so much, every single one of them. I have never felt so at home and at peace in my life. I agree with Paul when he says that he is the worst of sinners, because I am that too. I fuck something up every day, I make someone upset every day and do something stupid every day, but God... He continues to bless me and show me how to walk in His ways.
I praise YOU Lord for everything.
Thank you.
